What are you looking for? (8. GAY LIFE) .....Continuation

I’ve been using gay apps for many years to chat and if possible for meet ups. I have realized these reasons of mine. I have chatted with many guys and some of them I have met already either for a date or just for a plain hook up. Most of the gays are doing of what I’m doing I guess. In my experience with those gay communication apps, I have always encountered with this question of what are you looking for? Majority of the answer is I wanna have a chat/ a friend then let’s see what will happen. So what might happen may be a chat/call conversation, then a meet up for a date or for some is a casual sex (fun) and after that if you’re into each other then maybe a relationship.

When I was first asked by this question while chatting to a guy, I paused for a moment and I was hesitated to answer cuz I don’t know exactly the reason why. But I realized afterwards that it was just a plain searching for cute and hot guys then chat with them. At some point, I have the interest to meet some of them in person. I was afraid back then but it was actually ok after meeting them. What are you looking for? Everyone is looking for cute and hot guys, isn’t it? The good thing is everyone has that cute and lovable thing; it does just depend if the person you’re chatting with has seen that in you.

The thing I mentioned above is the common thing in gay communication apps. I have realized most of those common reasons of what I’m looking for. I have had a fun chat, call, and even video cam with them. I have met some of them for dates and hook ups. I have had a relationship with the few of them. But these things never lasted for a long time. Right now, there is that thing I’m longing for but I don’t know yet of what it is exactly. That’s why I am asking myself again of what really am I looking for? I have experienced those things I mentioned above and I feel like it’s a waste though I know it’s part of my experiences to learn.

What am I looking for? Right now, there is that thing in my heart but I don’t know what it is yet. I don’t know if I can find it using those gay apps but I wanna try again. How about you? What are you looking for? 

My Online Gay World (7. GAY LIFE)…….Continuation

Online dating apps are very common to everyone either you’re a hetero or a homo. I spend lots of time using different gay dating apps to find someone I would like to chat with, friend with, relationship with or even hook up with. It’s been many years I have been doing this. And yes, many guys I met up because of these different apps. Because of these apps, I had tried an online relationship, I felt like it’s real but the only different was the person wasn’t in person. I thought once was enough but I did it twice. My first online relationship was lasted for 6 months and the second one was for 7 months. I was a bit serious in these relationships but of course, it didn’t work out cuz it was just an online world. Aside from the relationship I had tried, I had some hook ups with someone, and some of them became my friends. I’m not actually into sex date but this thing can’t be avoided, everyone I’m sure can relate to this.

The first app I tried to use is Camfrog (CF), this is the app that I found my second real (in person) gay relationship though it lasted for just 3 months after my more than 2 years serious relationship. The second one is the Planet Romeo, this is the app I found my first online distant relationship. I was into him, I cared for him and he did the same, in fact he still waiting for me ‘til now but I don’t know the feeling is gone in my part. It was a good first online experience so it’s memorable to me. The next is Grindr and Hornet, these apps, I had some real dates and hook ups and two of them became my friends ‘til now. These two people, I really like them. We did couple of dates and nothing happened to us though we had some thought of it but it’s just ‘til there. Then, I tried Blued, I have been using this app for more than a year now and this is the app I found my second online distant relationship and it lasted for 7 months though we haven’t had a closure but I guess it’s done. I don’t know what happened but we just stopped contacting each other.

I’m still using these apps but not that much. Right now, I’m into Fuzz. This app is just more than 2 months since I’m using it. This is the first app that I livestream myself and has got enough gifts from viewers that’s why I’m into it. Since then I had my online relationships, I haven’t started to have relationship again for more than a year now. I don’t know when is my next sincere relationship to someone, I guess I just go with the flow of this life. After all I conclude, real and sincere relationship is so hard to have. Mostly I observed that many of us just fall into these two outcomes, either you may like the person but that person is not into you or that person may like you but you like someone else. Life is full of opposites, conflicts and contradictions. It takes time to have in the same line. So, it’s better to go with the flow of this life and whatever will be, will be. I do believe now that you can’t hold or change your future. Everyone has future intended for them in this life and all we have to do is to play this role in this life.