I had imagined many things
with those guys I was attracted with. I’m sure everyone understands what I mean.
When you are inspired, there are many inspiring things you can assume and think
of, right? That moment when we were together at the same classroom and we even
seated together made my whole college years the most and the best thing ever
happened in my life. Yes, starting that moment, we were together and never
separated in class. We were living in the same roof starting 2nd
semester of 2nd year college and we even worked together for almost
3 years in the same school we were teaching. I am with him for 7 years straight,
not because as his lover but as his best friend. Well for me, there were many
times I thought of more than that but the reality told me, our relationship was
limited to being best friends and never
be more than that. But, those years of being together, we had shared many
bromance stuffs. I had done many things intentionally and even planned
something to get his heart.
Starting from the enrollment of
2nd Semester of 2nd year college until our internship, we
always enrolled together for us to be in the same section. He had noticed that
his grades were improving because we always studied together, helped each
other, cheated with our answers in the exam/quiz and did our projects together.
Sometimes, we got together with our classmates but most of the time we were
alone together. His fraternity friends felt bad because he can’t go with them
and attend their meetings and they told him about us. We were like gay couple
and his friends were afraid if I might take advantage on him. His friends treated
me us gay person and I’m sure our classmates too. One time, one of our friendly
professors told me if I did confess my feeling to him because why we were
always together. The other professor called our attention because I did answer
his homework and my penmanship was very clear on that paper. He told us, what I
did was perjury. But what I loved most was, our male handsome professor told us
that what we did together was exemplary. We did our best together to get high
grades then he told us, he had someone with him too when he was still studying.
I did many things for him
especially after his wedding day. Yes, he got married to a woman. After being
so close with him for 9 months and he was very busy after the wedding. He had
family to take care of and study at the same time. His schooling was affected
but I tried my best to study hard for me to share with him during
examination/quiz day and of course we tried our best not to get caught by our
professors. Yes, the reality clearly told me that I don’t have a chance anymore.
After his wedding, I checked my feeling for him and start thinking of him as my
best friend. It was really hard not because I can’t accept he was married but
because I can’t think of him as my best friend. Still, I’m madly in love with
him.
He was married but our
closeness was getting better and better. I felt, he truly cared for me as his
best friend. We always stayed together, prayed together, sang together, ate
together, exercised together and studied together. This was my life with him
during our college years. The other thing we did together many times was
watching pornography (it was not gay porn though). Yes, many times. I saw everything
in him and in fact, I had been fantasizing him for many times. Not only had we
watched porn but masturbate together and I can’t forget his reaction when he
reached the peak. I remembered, we agreed to do a hand job and I did but he
realized it was gay thing so he let me stopped. He loved wearing boxer shorts
and I liked him so much wearing those because I can clearly saw his bulge. When
he was sleeping, I always stared at him watching everything in him (I was
careful then if he wakes up or his wife might see me).
He knew I am gay for sure (Yes,
he confirmed after my coming out) but we never talked about it. Not only I had
helped his schooling but also his family. When his wife delivered their two
sons, I was there helping every errand I can do. I am one of the godfathers of
all his sons. Sometimes, I sub as a mother (hehehe) because many times, we
brought his sons to the doctor for immunization because his wife can’t go due
to health condition. I was closed to their children. In fact, from the bed of
my heart, I treated them as my own sons. It took many years before my feeling
was sure of treating him as truly my best friend and nothing more (went abroad
helped me).
It happened; we were living
in the same roof because the parents of his wife helped me to work as working
student. I moved out from the gay couple who hired me to do the household
chores and stayed with them. That time on, we were together in everything, from
2nd semester of 2nd year college until we graduated and
then until 3 years working together in the same school.
To be continued…………….
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