There were many things I
cannot forget that happened in my life because I guess, it’s part of the role I
need to play in this life. This was something part of my gay life. I don’t know
if my gay personality is obvious when I was a child but as far as I remembered, I
used to play with boys and girls in our small village and I haven’t teased as
gay with my playmates but I remembered, I was asked by an older lady neighbor
if I’m gay or not when I was in Grade 7 (1st year high school). This
was the only encounter I have remembered. Unlike my cousin, he was the one
being teased before but he never told me if he was gay and I don’t know why he
was constantly teased by our playmates as gay until something happened.
I have many friends in my
childhood years and I considered my cousin as the best of them. He was known
for being clever not just in our small village but he proved that in every
competition in big schools. He taught me a lot with our lessons and I cheated
many times because he allowed me to do so. My cousin was actually known in our
school and church as clever/smart child. In our family, he was and his siblings
were the favorite of my grandmother. All of my cousins have noticed that and we
were talking about this many times and we were jealous. My teacher praised him
all the time not just because he was smart but also because he was cute and he
was always center of attraction in every activity we had in school.
In the church, we had prayer
meeting every Wednesday night and we were used to sleep in my cousin’s house. Then
other nights either, we slept in my house, in his house or our other cousin’s
house. And there was one thing we noticed with our cousin (my best cousin). We
didn’t know why he was kept on hugging us. Everyone who slept beside him talked
this thing about him. This thing he used to do is until now. I witnessed this
myself, he kept on hugging me every time he slept beside me. But I have never
felt bad on what he was doing until one time. I remembered, it was daytime
after school when we were in Grade 4. He hugged me for long time until we lied
on the floor and he kept pushing his body on me while hugging me. Even though we
never take off our clothes but that time my mind opened. That incident took
quite long time and whenever I remembered that, I was thinking, I guess he cum.
I cannot forget that incident throughout my life because that’s the only time
my mind opened and I felt weird. That incident didn’t happen again until I was
in teenager in Grade 9. He did the same. There were only two events I have
remembered, there was other one but it’s different. When I was in Grade 10, I
remembered, I got a high fever and I was shocked when he asked me, did someone
fuck you because he wondered why I have that high fever and then whispered, “That’s
what happened to me when our other cousin fucked me”. We never talked about it,
there was time I want but I feel not good to do so. He never told me if he was
gay or not but I’m sure, I am.
To be continued...........
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